FOOD - (EATING)

FOOD - (EATING) - 1

“Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.”” – Jesus Christ – John 4:34 – Apostle John – The BIBLE

I like refried beans. That’s why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they’re just as good and we’re wasting time.  You don’t have to fry them again after all.  – Mitch Hedberg

It says something about our times when we use the word ‘sinful’ to describe a really good dessert. – Unknown

Nothing is more memorable than SMELL.  One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains: another, a family dinner of pot roast and sweet potatoes. Smells detonate softly in our memory like poignant landmines hidden under a weedy mass of years.  Hit a tripwire of smell and memories explode all at once.  A complex vision leaps out of the undergrowth. – Diane Ackerman

‘Escargot’ is French for ‘fat crawling bag of phlegm.’ – Dave Barry

“Randy!  Just sit down, eat your cereal, and look for that thing later!” – Momma T-Rex to her kids at the breakfast table as they reach into a box of ‘Meaties.’ – Gary Larson – The FAR SIDE

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex and rich food.  He was perfectly healthy right up to the time he killed himself. – Johnny Carson

Happiness is a good cigar, a good meal, and a good woman—or a bad woman.  I t depends on how much happiness you can handle. – George Burns

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers.  The original meal has never been found. – Calvin Trillin

When a waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said “Four, I don’t think I can eat eight.” – Yogi Berra

Never eat more than you can lift. – Miss Piggy

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.  Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.  – Lao Tzu

I always cook with wine.   Sometimes I even add the food. – W. C. Fields

When my mother had to make dinner for 8, she’d make enough for 16, and only serve half. – Gracie Allen

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money.  Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do. – P. J. O’Rourke

Red meat is not bad for you.  Now blue-green meat—that’s bad for you. – Tom Smothers          

FOOD - (EATING) - 2

“I will go down to rescue them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of the land good and spacious, a land flowing with milk and honey..” - Moses – Ex. 3:8 – The BIBLE

In Tulsa restaurants have signs that say, “Sorry, we’re open.” – Rosanne Barr

I didn’t fight my way up the food chain just to be a vegetarian. – Was it Paul McCartney—or was it a hippopotamus?                                                      

Hor D’oevres?  A ham sandwich cut into 40 pieces. – Jack Benny                   

I am so full I can’t hear. – Gilda Radner

Cheese—milk’s leap toward immortality. – Clifton Fadiman

Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want 2000 of something. – Mitch Hedberg

If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket, and then give him only two of them. – Phil Pastoret

The food here is terrible and the portions are way too small. – Woody Allen  

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a Styrofoam coffee cup, only less filling. – Dave Barry

The main difference between man and animals is—animals don’t stand in line. – Gary Larson?

In general, my children refuse to eat anything that doesn’t dance on television. – Erma Bombeck      

I would like to find a stew that would give me heartburn immediately, instead of a three o’clock in the morning. – John Barrymore

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, and not the toy. – Unknown                   

Fettuccini Alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults. – Mitch Hedberg

The first law of dietetics seems to be—if it tastes good, it’s bad for you. – Isaac Asimov

Ice cream is exquisite—what a pity it isn’t illegal. – Voltaire

I don’t like broccoli.  And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.  I am President of the United States, and I am not going to eat any more broccoli. – George Bush

We live in an age where pizza gets to your home before the police. – Jeff Arder

Love is when Mommy gives Dad the best piece of chicken.   Elaine (age 5)     

He who eats alone, chokes alone. – Arabic proverb                                           

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“At this the serpent said to the woman, “You certainly will not die.  For God knows that in the very day you eat from it, your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and bad.”” – Moses – Gen. 3: 4, 5 – The BIBLE

There is a small danger in being starved in our land of plenty; but the danger of being stuffed is immenant. – Sarah Josepha Hale

A lot of learned men think they really are the food they’ve eaten. – Colonel Sanders

Of the three necessities of life—food, clothing and shelter—I like food, clothing and shelter best. – Gary Pulliam

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out on the inside. – Mark Twain

Only the pure in heart can make a good soup, -- Ludwig van Beethoven

There are only three things women need in life; food, clothes, and compliments. – Chris Rock

Flowers always make people better, happier and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. – Luther Burbank

When a man’s stomach is full, it makes no difference if he’s rich or poor. – Euripides

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. – J. R. R. Tolkien

Let food be thy medicine and medicine by thy food. – Hippocrates

There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box in your lap. – Kevin James

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. – Virginia Woolf

I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks. – Totie Fields

If you can’t feed a hundred then feed just one. – Mother Teresa

When you rise in the morning give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength.  Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living.  If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself. – Tecumseh

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying. – Fran Lebowitz

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me some pep pills.  Know what happened?  I ate faster. – Joe E. Lewis

Everything you see I owe to spaghetti. – Sophia Loren

FOOD - (EATING) - 4

It isn’t so much what’s on the table that matters, it’s what’s on the chairs. – W. S. Gilbert

I will not eat oysters.  I want my food dead—not sick, not wounded—dead! – Woody Allen

Most of us are either too thin to enjoy eating or too fat to enjoy walking. – Edward W. Howe

Your diet is your bank account.  Good food choices are good investments. – Bethenny Frankel