DRINKING - DRUGS
DRINKING & DRUGS - 1
“For a drundard and a glutton will come to poverty. And drowsiness will clothe one with rags.” – King Solomon – Proverbs 23:21 – The BIBLE
I never drink water because of all the disgusting things fish do in it. – W. C. Fields
Giving up smoking is easy. I’ve done it hundreds of times. – Mark Twain
You’re not drunk if you lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me rather than a frontal lobotomy. – Fred Allen
My uncle was the town drunk—and we lived in Chicago. – George Gobel
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do. – P. J. O’Rourke
I’m not as think as you drunk I am. – Anonymous, or AA
Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs. – Lily Tomlin
Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition led to the rise of the gang problems we have. – Drew Carey
Lying is the same as alcoholism. Liars prevaricate even on their deathbeds. – Anton Chekhov
Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money. – Robin Williams
Sometimes I’m asked by kids why I condemn marijuana when I haven’t tried it. The greatest obstetricians in the world have never been pregnant. – Art Linkletter
Never slap a man who’s chewin’ tobacco. – Will Rogers
The tobacco industry has said that while nicotine may be addictive, it is naturally present in vegetables. How come you never see people standing outside an office building in the rain eating eggplant? – Jay Leno
Smoking means always having to say you’re sorry. – Somebody important
I tried marijuana once. I didn’t inhale. – Bill Clinton
I always wake up to the crack of ice. – Joe E. Lewis
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex and rich food. He was perfectly healthy right up to the time he killed himself. – Johnny Carson
Never take a beer on your job interview. – Jeff Foxworthy
Somebody left the cork out of my lunch. – W. C. Fields
DRINKING & DRUGS - 2
“Do not drink water any longer, but take a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent cases of sickness.” – Apostle Paul to young Timothy – I Cor. 5:23 – The BIBLE
Never accept a drink from a Urologist. – Erma Bombeck
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that—everybody meets down the street at the bar. – Drew Carey
I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add the food. – W. C. Fields
The whole world is about three drinks behind. – Humphrey Bogart
If you think dope is for kicks and thrills, you’re out of your mind. There can be more kicks in a good case of paralytic polio or living in an iron lung. If you think you need stuff to play music or sing, you’re crazy. It can fix you so that you can’t play nothing or sing nothing. – Billie Holiday
In heaven there is no beer—that’s why I drink it here. – Mark Twain
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs—we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and lust for power. – P. J. O’Rourke
Always drink upstream from the heard. – Will Rogers
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning and that’s the best they’re going to feel all day. – Dean Martin
I don’t drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin. – Joe E. Lewis
One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I’m having a good time. – Nancy Astor
Always do sober what you said you would do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. – Ernest Hemingway
When I played a drunk I had to remain sober because I didn’t know how to play them while I was drunk. – Richard Burton
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes. – W. C. Fields
Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, Billie Holiday, Prince, Whitney Houston, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Janis Joplin, Robin Williams, Amy Winehouse, Michael Jackson, Joan Rivers, John Belushi, Heath Ledger, Kurt Kobain, Freddie Prinze, Truman Capote, Jimi Hendrix, and especially Michael Pulliam—a few people whose life was overtaken by overdrinking, overdose, and overuse. They left us with so much unfinished and unfulfilled. – Gary Pulliam
DRINKING & DRUGS - 3
“Thieves, greedy people, drunkards, revilers, and extortioners will not inherit God’s kingdom.” – Apostle Paul – I Cor. 6:10 – The BIBLE
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, there would be no way to make a vital ingredient in beer. – Dave Barry
It has been my experience that folks with no vices have very few virtues. – Abraham Lincoln
It was a woman that drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it. – W. C. Fields
